The Read & The Tea

What Is Love?

A word that has so many different meanings depending on who you may ask...music artists, such as Lauryn Hill (The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill) & Mack Wilds (New York: A Love Story) prove this point on their highlighted albums with a snippet of them asking individuals what their definition of love was.

I've decided to let y'all know about one of the books I've read during my social media fasting for lent (February 26th-April 12th) since it had an impact on my way of thinking. So, if there was any wonder to why I wasn't posting during that time period its because I gave it up. And to answer your question YES the struggle was TOOOO REAL this time around, especially giving up IG, FB, Snapchat, and Twitter all at once. Lordt!

Now, I try not to be out here speaking on EVERYTHANGGG that goes on in my life; especially on the inters of net (internet) cause privacy is a good thing at times. However, there was a reason for me reading this gem sooner rather than later so I might as well go ahead and tell yall. I recently went through a "breakup." Yes, I put the air quotes because it wasn't an actual established relationship, meaning I don't recall him ever asking me to be his girlfriend, BUT we were rocking with each other on and off for OVERRR 8+ years (being modest with the number). This was literally within weeks of the start of Rona Quarantine. YIKES!

DISCLAIMER: I will not be speaking badly about him, making him look like a bad guy, or any of that other shit. We spoke on it later, after the charged emotions died down and I'll just leave it at that! WHY? Cause Ima la-a-a-dyy *in my Sheneneh Jenkins voice

At this point, I decide what better time then now to purchase this book entitled, "All About Love: New Visions" by Bell Hooks. This book has been on my reading list for some time now. It was actually a referral from my girl Shelah Marie (she's my friend in my head). She had posted and raved about this book on her IG story one day. I believe her and her now husband even took engagement photos with this book in hand. SN: I am definitely trying to go to the Curvy, Curly, Conscious Retreat (hopefully next year).

This blog post is STRICTLY for those who want to learn more about love and to provide you all, my readers, with a book review and how it impacted me.

The Read

All About Love: New Visions would fall under the genre of non-fiction and philosophy. This book has a total of 272 pages. A major highlight for me in this read is when she talks about "cathexis" and dives further into how we confuse cathexis with love because of how we think of love.

Normally, I go straight to the first chapter. However, this time around I started at the intro and let me just tell yall I literally was teary-eyed 2 or 3 times alone while reading this section because at that moment I found myself relating to Bell.

In this read the author speaks on how there's no true ground definition of love. Yes, the dictionary has a definition for the word but it speaks more on romantic love and how this word is a noun (person, place, or thing) instead of a verb (action, state, or occurrence). Bell uses Erich Fromm's definition of love in this book which is, "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth...love is as love does, an act of will...both an intention and an action...we do not have to love but we choose to."  💥 Bell speaks on love from multiple views from the mass media, family, ones self, friends, etc.

My Reactions

For the most part this was an easy read for me because this is something that I want and more importantly need. And  when I say need I mean from myself and those I allow to have a place in my life. Bell kept my attention for majority of the read, however there were times when I wasn't feeling the content or the act of reading itself. There were a lot of powerful gems as well as statements that really get your mind and thoughts flowing.

This book was many things to me. It was enlightening, interesting, and instructive to say the least. Love for me in the context of romance was something that I often didn't get to witness much growing up.  I even lacked in self love at a young age; I question my level of beauty often. Before reading this book, I never found myself deeply pondering or even questioning what it really is. Even when having discussions about boys/guys/men with my girlfriends we didn't really dive into a deep conversation on what love means to us, we just know we wanted it. Often times I feel that we burry our childhood traumas both major and minor and then when we get older we find ourselves struggling in all forms of relationships and have trouble pin-pointing where the problem really stemmed from. This book was also instructive for me. It has reconstructed my opinion about love. I would like to think that now I have become more cautious with the advice I give my friends and love ones when it comes to romantic love. I've also took moments to reflect on my own relationships to figure out how I'm giving love to others. Not only has this book opened up my eyes to how I give and show love but more importantly what I will and will not accept as love from others. For instance, the "ride or die" or "Bonnie & Clyde" hood definition of love in the context of allowing cheating, lying, and other negative things to be include in the love someone gives me. This book opened my eyes to know that aint it Sis!

Bell challenges her readers to change their thoughts on love with this text touching not just on intimacy but as far back to our childhood and as early as the day we were born. She also brings the squirm~ish conversation about love to the forefront.

I encourage everyone to go check this book out. This is more than just a good read for women; men, teens, young and old can benefit and take something away from this book. Regardless if you are in a relationship or single love is universal and a language that all species on this earth understand. Love is more than Venus and Mars so push yourself to learn more about it and challenge the status quo.

You can purchase All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks at:
Ebooks ,  Ebay ,  Amazon , BN (Barnes& Noble), and Thriftbooks.

To learn more about the author Bell Hooks please visit her website at http://www.bellhooksinstitute.com/

Please like, share, and comment your thoughts about this book if you've already read it or once you do read it! Also follow me on Instagram if you haven't and Twitter to see videos, pictures, and learn about other events, books, and places to check out 😊

Until next time ✌